One of the hardest things for a new Catholic, whether you have come from a protestant church, a non-Christian background or no religion at all, is the relationship we have with Mary, Mother of Jesus. Some protestants think that Mary comes between the believer and God, others believe that Catholics worship Mary as if she were a goddess. Most people exploring the faith, myself included, are just a bit dubious about Mary. It took me a long time, many months, firstly to understand the role Mary has in our Christian life and then to experience it.
When we ask Our Lady to intercede for us she is not coming between God and ourselves; we are asking for her help in understanding God and hearing what He is saying to us. The Blessed Virgin Mary is someone who we know will always understand us, always have sympathy with us and for what we ask of God. Above all, she will always know what is best for us better than we do. Very like our human mothers, in fact.
Why is it sometimes easier to talk to Our Lady than directly to God?
It can be very hard to come right out with it and say how you feel about a person to their face. It is risky. What if they don’t react the way you would like? What if they don’t react at all? You will be left with egg on your face at the very least, probably trying to cover up the fact that you are deeply hurt. One way in which we can mitigate that social risk is to turn to a third-party intermediary. We might ask someone else's advice about the best way to approach the person or even ask a friend of the person to introduce us or 'warm up' the person on our behalf. This does not always end well, especially if we put our trust in the wrong intermediary (insert your own painful experience here). Luckily, we are not dealing with our peer group in this instance, we are going to ask someone far greater, far better, far wiser and more compassionate than ourselves to intercede for us.
Imagine a different third-party scenario than the one you thought of just now. You go over to your best friend’s house. You pop your head through the back door and see your friend’s mother there. She invites you in and you start chatting with their her. She tells you how very glad she is that you and her beloved child are such good friends. You tell her how grateful you are for her their friendship, but she can tell that there is something you are not saying. There is an awkward silence and then then you admit that sometimes you do not know why they do or say some of the things they do, or that they do not always react to you in the way you expect. There are times when you find it really hard to speak to them and this makes you miserable. What is your best friend’s mum going to do? How will she respond to you?
Of course, the brilliant mum of your brilliant friend will explain how best to talk to her child, she will help you understand them better. She may tell you how to hear what they are saying to you, or ask you to be patient, or invite you to visit their house more often. She may talk to her child on your behalf and tell them that you find it hard to talk sometimes. What she will not do is ignore you or leave you without helping you.
What I have now started to learn is that it does not end there. Having a relationship with Our Lady means that I have got a new friend who is like a mother to me. She is eternally patient with me, infinitely compassionate towards me and can help me to see the way God wants me to go, hear what He wants me to hear. It is like the difference between having a best friend and becoming a part of your friend’s family.
Trying to describe my relationship with Our Lady has been very difficult. I doubt I have done it justice. It is a new thing for me; not like anything I have experienced before but just as real. The big difference between her and Christ is that she is human, whereas Jesus is Lord. She was a human mother, but the son to whom she gave birth was God Incarnate, God from God, Light from Light, consubstantial with the Father. Forming a relationship with God is not to be achieved in our meagre lifetime. Some get further than others, even Jesus seemed to find it hard at times and His life must have seemed to Him like a weird out-of-body experience but in reverse; an in-body experience. Mary, although the most perfect person ever, was a person like you and me. She had a childhood. She suffered weaknesses and developed strengths. She struggled with her humanity just as you and I do. Mary's humanity makes her easier to talk to when I am feeling weak, hopeless, inadequate or when I find it hard to hear what God is saying. When, in fact, I am at my most human. I know that she has experienced all those things and overcome them.
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